Branch (
branchifer) wrote in
longestnight2023-08-23 03:59 pm
[audio] The traps will continue until (his) morale improves
[After a while, there's no need for anyone to keep too much of a close eye on Branch, despite the fact he was possibly one of the closest to death by the time they got to the Pole. By the time everyone else is feeling well enough to leave the Infirmary (albeit maybe with a limp in the case of some of them) he's still out but at least finally firmly stable. Breathing easily and far less pale. It's just that the sleep caused by the myth healing has him firmly knocked out for far longer than everyone else as all that extensive poison damage heals up.]
[Jack at least keeps occasionally checking in on him. He'd placed him in a little doll bed and placed that in a little dollhouse. The house is meant to make it so the troll won't just sleepily stumble out and fall right off the table or something before he's fully awake.]
[The problem is he hasn't noticed that one of the Elves noticed him initially tucking Branch away. And said Elf also keeps watching him go in and open up a little doll house. Bingle knows better, he knows he's not allowed in the Infirmary unless he wants to be helpful and has been given specific Infirmary-related instructions....but he also thinks that toy looks so adorable. And!!! Jack keeps playing with it and Jack liking the toy makes it seem even cooler!!! So after one of the times Jack closes up the little dollhouse again, and leaves the Infirmary Bingle jingles his way happily into the Infirmary after he's out of sight to go play with the toy...]
[A short time later, there is a whole lot of screaming. Terrified, Bingle drops what was in his hand, and runs out. Then what Bingle thought was a toy also runs out of the Infirmary and the rest...]
[The rest is the kind of mess that happens when a bunch of upsetting events running consecutively are filtered through a filter of high octane paranoia. Branch doesn't waste time after escaping his would-be murderer. Limping out of the room, he makes his way onto a hustling bustling floor filled with furry artisans. Looking around in awe at the strangeness of his surroundings is how he gets run over by some kind of toy car. Great. Wonderful. The injury jangles his leg even worse and causes it to break open the partially-healed snake bite gouge. But that's not about to slow him down.]
[Some stolen ribbon is tied over the bandage to put more pressure on the injury. (They must have bandaged it because they wanted him to live long enough to clear the poison.) His hair is quietly washed in the as-of-yet unused paintbrush water of a yeti setting up a table to paint toys. Then he smears green and red paint on his body and more bits and bobbles, pieces of ribbon and tinsel and pine are used as camouflage all over his body. The place is littered with garlands and scraps of ribbon and tinsel. It genuinely lets him blend. All he has to do is stop moving and then he looks like all the rest of the detritus and garland on the tables and floors.]
[He blends enough that he manages to limp to one of the windows and see what's waiting for him outside without being seen. The view is devastating and makes him realize he has to change his tack.]
[He figures out the comm devices the hairy guys are making are important by silently watching a yeti test one out, including by using some kind of... listening devices with it? Ones that go in the ears? When the yeti's back is turned, both the larger watch device and the two ear-things are stolen, as is the box and instructions for the ear things. And Branch spends the better part of an hour figuring out what it's all for, how to sync the devices, how to use the mic on the one ear bud, and how the menus are navigated - including how to navigate them by tapping the earbud certain ways without touching the comm watch.]
[Then he looks out on what is to become a battlefield, a place to lay waste to his enemies, and starts to get to work. It takes him the better part of a few hours to prepare, the large space of time between anyone possibly thinking to check on him in the Infirmary. He has to use his hair to do most of the traveling because of the shape his leg is in but he pushes his way through it.]
[Then the first casualties start rolling in. The Elves and the yetis, the most numerous of the Pole's residents and most prone to roaming around, are disproportionately affected. The first trap is tripped by an Elf. Somehow the Elf is successfully netted to the ground in a weighted net made of volleyball netting. A yeti trips a trap that causes a cascade of marbles that causes a whole group of yetis to slip and fall. A snare trap somehow whips someone upside down. Super soakers full of lemon juice are activated by a tripwire to squirt the juice in someone's face as they walk by.]
[The traps are all harmful but not permanently damaging. There are no traps that might make people fall over railings or down stairs. Nothing will permanently scald anyone and even if things cause pain and irritation they don't cause permanent damage. And it's possible to avoid tripping traps, certainly. After all, most of the traps are in the busiest areas of the Pole, and not quieter ones prone to relaxation. There's no point in hunting the hunters if you do it in places where they don't heavily congregate.]
[But for those in the more heavily trap-set areas: visible chaos erupts. The Elves and the yetis are clearly panicking. Then, in explanation, a voice comes over the new comms, in audio only, spoken over the mic of a single Samsung earbud. A few of them might recognize said voice from their time in the Multi-plex or before.]
Yeah, hi, all those traps going off around you? Those are mine and I work fast. I guaran-flipping-tee you there are a whole lot more of them than you think. Pick a random number, then quadruple it, because that's what I did when deciding how many to set. And I'll keep setting more the longer my demands go unmet.
Now I'm sure some of you are thinking "well, I can avoid all the traps." Maybe true for you, but your ugly, pointy-headed little children and the big hairy guys sure seem to be running into them. And wow, they are really freaking out right now.
So we're going to do this my way. If you want it to stop anytime soon, you'll do exactly what I say, when I say it. If you don't do what I say, I will make it worse.
[Branch is about to limp around and be a problem.]
[Yippee-Ki-Yay.]
[ooc: Threadhopping is encouraged. The main negotiations will happen with Miguel playing hostage negotiator, but anyone can talk to Branch. He can't see anything because it's all audio but he'll definitely gloat if he hears someone get trapped while on the comms with him, completely endearing himself to them instantly, I'm sure. All the traps will be inconvenient, annoying, and maybe slightly painful but not cause any genuine risk to life and limb - yet.]
[Jack at least keeps occasionally checking in on him. He'd placed him in a little doll bed and placed that in a little dollhouse. The house is meant to make it so the troll won't just sleepily stumble out and fall right off the table or something before he's fully awake.]
[The problem is he hasn't noticed that one of the Elves noticed him initially tucking Branch away. And said Elf also keeps watching him go in and open up a little doll house. Bingle knows better, he knows he's not allowed in the Infirmary unless he wants to be helpful and has been given specific Infirmary-related instructions....but he also thinks that toy looks so adorable. And!!! Jack keeps playing with it and Jack liking the toy makes it seem even cooler!!! So after one of the times Jack closes up the little dollhouse again, and leaves the Infirmary Bingle jingles his way happily into the Infirmary after he's out of sight to go play with the toy...]
[A short time later, there is a whole lot of screaming. Terrified, Bingle drops what was in his hand, and runs out. Then what Bingle thought was a toy also runs out of the Infirmary and the rest...]
[The rest is the kind of mess that happens when a bunch of upsetting events running consecutively are filtered through a filter of high octane paranoia. Branch doesn't waste time after escaping his would-be murderer. Limping out of the room, he makes his way onto a hustling bustling floor filled with furry artisans. Looking around in awe at the strangeness of his surroundings is how he gets run over by some kind of toy car. Great. Wonderful. The injury jangles his leg even worse and causes it to break open the partially-healed snake bite gouge. But that's not about to slow him down.]
[Some stolen ribbon is tied over the bandage to put more pressure on the injury. (They must have bandaged it because they wanted him to live long enough to clear the poison.) His hair is quietly washed in the as-of-yet unused paintbrush water of a yeti setting up a table to paint toys. Then he smears green and red paint on his body and more bits and bobbles, pieces of ribbon and tinsel and pine are used as camouflage all over his body. The place is littered with garlands and scraps of ribbon and tinsel. It genuinely lets him blend. All he has to do is stop moving and then he looks like all the rest of the detritus and garland on the tables and floors.]
[He blends enough that he manages to limp to one of the windows and see what's waiting for him outside without being seen. The view is devastating and makes him realize he has to change his tack.]
[He figures out the comm devices the hairy guys are making are important by silently watching a yeti test one out, including by using some kind of... listening devices with it? Ones that go in the ears? When the yeti's back is turned, both the larger watch device and the two ear-things are stolen, as is the box and instructions for the ear things. And Branch spends the better part of an hour figuring out what it's all for, how to sync the devices, how to use the mic on the one ear bud, and how the menus are navigated - including how to navigate them by tapping the earbud certain ways without touching the comm watch.]
[Then he looks out on what is to become a battlefield, a place to lay waste to his enemies, and starts to get to work. It takes him the better part of a few hours to prepare, the large space of time between anyone possibly thinking to check on him in the Infirmary. He has to use his hair to do most of the traveling because of the shape his leg is in but he pushes his way through it.]
[Then the first casualties start rolling in. The Elves and the yetis, the most numerous of the Pole's residents and most prone to roaming around, are disproportionately affected. The first trap is tripped by an Elf. Somehow the Elf is successfully netted to the ground in a weighted net made of volleyball netting. A yeti trips a trap that causes a cascade of marbles that causes a whole group of yetis to slip and fall. A snare trap somehow whips someone upside down. Super soakers full of lemon juice are activated by a tripwire to squirt the juice in someone's face as they walk by.]
[The traps are all harmful but not permanently damaging. There are no traps that might make people fall over railings or down stairs. Nothing will permanently scald anyone and even if things cause pain and irritation they don't cause permanent damage. And it's possible to avoid tripping traps, certainly. After all, most of the traps are in the busiest areas of the Pole, and not quieter ones prone to relaxation. There's no point in hunting the hunters if you do it in places where they don't heavily congregate.]
[But for those in the more heavily trap-set areas: visible chaos erupts. The Elves and the yetis are clearly panicking. Then, in explanation, a voice comes over the new comms, in audio only, spoken over the mic of a single Samsung earbud. A few of them might recognize said voice from their time in the Multi-plex or before.]
Yeah, hi, all those traps going off around you? Those are mine and I work fast. I guaran-flipping-tee you there are a whole lot more of them than you think. Pick a random number, then quadruple it, because that's what I did when deciding how many to set. And I'll keep setting more the longer my demands go unmet.
Now I'm sure some of you are thinking "well, I can avoid all the traps." Maybe true for you, but your ugly, pointy-headed little children and the big hairy guys sure seem to be running into them. And wow, they are really freaking out right now.
So we're going to do this my way. If you want it to stop anytime soon, you'll do exactly what I say, when I say it. If you don't do what I say, I will make it worse.
[Branch is about to limp around and be a problem.]
[Yippee-Ki-Yay.]
[ooc: Threadhopping is encouraged. The main negotiations will happen with Miguel playing hostage negotiator, but anyone can talk to Branch. He can't see anything because it's all audio but he'll definitely gloat if he hears someone get trapped while on the comms with him, completely endearing himself to them instantly, I'm sure. All the traps will be inconvenient, annoying, and maybe slightly painful but not cause any genuine risk to life and limb - yet.]

no subject
[Branch's voice is genuinely furious. Raw with accusation, filled with the outrage that comes with being attacked when you're most vulnerable.]
You all know what you did.
[Even if only one of them did it the rest had to be fine with it to just let it happen.]
So stop pretending. I'm not buying it.
[This isn't a refuge for him. It's mean to be the place where he'll be murdered.]
no subject
[ Ah. The telltale unhinged rage of a guy Going Through It. If he had a nickel for every one of these.... ]
It was a hell of a ride from the Nightmare Theater to here. What happened, exactly?
[ If he can entince some monologuing.... ]
no subject
[You figure that shit out, Miguel.]
Stop wasting my time. Are we going to negotiate terms or what?
no subject
[ this asshole imp is smarter than he initially thought, he'll give him that ]
Someone on the North Pole trying to kill you sounds like a big misunderstanding.
no subject
I'm not giving you the benefit of a doubt. I should've known you all couldn't be trusted. That's big people all over.
[Clearly, there's some damage here.]
So, terms. Negotiating. Yes or no.
Or do I start escalating.
no subject
You haven't mentioned the specifics of what you want.
no subject
We got here somehow. I want safe transport out. And some supplies so I don't have to worry about collecting any right away when I get out there.
A pack and a water container that works for my size. Food, preferably with a lot of dried fruit. [Since fruit's the main thing his people eat.] Some basic first aid supplies like bandages and a sliver of soap.
no subject
Transportation in and out is magical. That will take more time to figure out.
But the food and water shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll need to agree to a drop off point.
[ give a morsel to mollify him, a bit. It’s a good thing Branch can’t see the piles of snow globe notes. ]
audio, locked to Miguel
I wasn't going to cast magic over people without explaining what I was doing first and getting permission, so I only did the anti-tracking charms after you all were awake.
He was out cold so I didn't do one on him yet. If we let him go now, without the charm, Kuk's people will find him. The little guy won't stand a chance. They'll capture or kill him.
no subject
[ one way or another, letting the guy go after knowing the inner workings of the place seemed like a bad idea. ]
We should give the other things to him. It will buy us all some time to figure out where he is.
video
Dingle, Bingle, guys, come on!
Just give him whatever. We only need to earn his trust enough to lure him in close-ish. I can do the charm from a few feet away and then we can give him a snowglobe.
perma privated from branch i assume
Are you sure you want to keep going through all the trouble? I can just look for him and root him out.
[ he has spiderman senses, Jack! He also... has talons that are as long as Branch's entire body. maybe don't let him. ]
yep
So it'll still be a lot better if we can earn his trust and convince him he's safe here, and luring him in with the charm and the offer of a snowglobe might at least let us get him face to face for a talk.
Grabbing him will do the opposite.
[Jack is pretty set on trying to help all of the people that have been drawn in.]
We could also use all the help we can get. If this ruckus is proof of anything it's that he can be a handful even despite his size. It wouldn't be a bad thing to have on our side if was directed in the right direction.
[Stealthy and crafty little guy.]
[An Elf tries to make another dive to escape and Jack grabs him. He absolutely has his hands full. A whole gaggle of Elves he's trying to get off the workroom floor.]
Just think of this as practice. I mean, what do you think we do? Kids are usually small and vulnerable and scared. And we have to protect them. And comfort them. Even when they're a handful, even when they're sarcastic, rebellious teenagers.
At the end of the day, no matter how they act, when we're protecting a kid, a lot of times we're meeting them on one of the worst days of their lives.
This guy's small and scared and vulnerable, and it's probably one of the worst days of his life. If we can't handle him, we really are in trouble.
no subject
Yeah, I know…
[ Miguel releases a big ‘ol sigh of resignation. Once the initial frustration burns through, he doesn’t need much convincing.
He has guided who-knows-how-many Spiders through some of the worst days of their lives, among other things. The capability to be gentle and comforting was in there… lost somewhere.]
Don’t think talking is gonna help much, but I’ll give it a shot.
no subject
[When Jack comes on the comm again, it's obvious why he's been radio silent. His red powder smeared eyes are streaming with tears. He's a casualty thanks to herding the Elves to safer areas. A yeti is handing him a series of water bottles to try to wash it out of his eyes. It's not an easy prospect actually because the water turns to ice before long upon contact with his face and he has to wipe it off. Slush isn't quite as good at getting powder off your face and out of your eyes compared to free-flowing water.]
Okay, so maybe my initial stance on the [hacking because there is chili powdered tear-snot running down his throat] ...situation was slightly ill-advised.
We either need to do some kind of non-grabby catch and release with a net or something to get him talking, or just let him go after he's properly charmed.
no subject
[ Miguel isn't going to let go of the 'ill-advised' part just because he has pepper blight!!
But here is where they can discuss their more mediated plan!! ]
no subject
[Lots of tables to hide under, lots of little flying toys fitting around to hitch rides on.]
I'll send down one of those little flying toys near the table with the green death lizards. [Dinosaurs.] You'll load it up with supplies.
no subject
[ Now is the time for their offscreen huddle up on who is on delivery duty.
If he has a say in it, he’d suggest some extra treats in there too. ]
no subject
one food delivery later
[ it wasn’t too difficult to be generous with a three inch troll creature. He only hopes the candy is working it’s effects and that they’d gleamed enough to isolate his location some. ]
They’re working on getting bandaging in your size.
no subject
[Like a shell game.]
I did. The candy was a nice touch. Bribery won't help you, but solid effort.
For bandages, just cut some cloth, it's not that hard.
And how's that the transportation coming?
no subject
[ a stubborn little shit like that would be admirable if he didn’t have to try and meet him halfway! ]
There’s a problem with your transport. You were out of it when they gave us the anti-tracking charms for the guys hunting you in the theater.
You need it if you don’t want to die after you step out.
no subject
cw: cannibalism
este huevón enojante del-.
[ the spanish muttering becomes inaudible. it is not nice sounding. ]
Do you want to get eaten by a snake that badly?
no subject
Because I don't believe you about the tracking thing. Something that'd make me have to surrender is way too convenient.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)