longestnight | We got 99 problems (but Chaval aint one) -- Post-Quebec

[Sam had literally only just gotten back to the Pole when more things happened. Which is why, when the comm comes up, there's a large red-tailed hawk on the back of the chair behind him. The hawk turns her head, rearranging Sam's hair slightly.]

[Those that have met Eileen will probably know that it's a nervous gesture.]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Miguel beat me at rock, paper, scissors.

[And, really, it was probably going to be one of them that brought it.]

Dan, Miguel, and I went on a mission to Quebec. Chasing rumors of a demonic horse that was kidnapping kids. Supposedly to eat them, but it never got that far.

It's dealt with, now, but not before leaving a disturbing message.

[The comm switches over to a video, obviously taken of the creature's last moments, though he does cut off the end where it melts away.]

I also got Dan to translate, to the best of what I could pronounce, of what it had said before I thought to record it.

[The hawk's preening gets a little more aggressive for a moment as Sam starts flipping through the pages of his ever present notebook and starts reading.]

"You all should run. I'm the nicest thing that crossed through the cracks. They're coming." [A pause, glancing over the next bit.] "Too many cracks. Everything falling apart. Universes like...big ships on the ocean...crash together. Kuk enlists what comes over. He's recruiting the smartest ones. Smarter than me."

[Another pause, then a light bat at the hawk as she catches his ear. Which turns into petting her chest feathers for a moment before continuing.]

This last bit was in the recording, but I'll repeat Dan's translation for those of us who, like me, aren't Francophones. "Those coming through. You've already fought them in the Wilderlands. It's possible they'll remember you. Memory...funny thing, that. And they're not the only ones crossing."

[He sits back, picking up a pen to toy with it.]

We knew a bit of this. I think, though, that we didn't know the scope of it before now. I know some of you were in the Wilderlands. What sorts of things did you have to deal with?

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I've not been to the Wilderlands, but Aziraphale was fortunate enough to spend some time there so I thought I'd share his notes with you all.

[Which is to say that the angel didn't want to deal with technology but knew this was important, so now it's Crowley's job.]

Shadowhunters: human, or at least mostly human. They'll defer to holy beings but apparently had a problem with anyone who might fall under the wonderful category of 'monster'. I can't imagine they're much of a threat, humans can be reasoned with, typically.

Nazgûl: google it, they're the same as they are in Lord of the Rings.

Nightrenders: 'dreadful creatures' was the main takeaway I got from Aziraphale. Their goal seems to be eating souls and they can access memories to do that, somehow. They're weak to light and holy/blessed items, leaving me in the unfortunate position of advocating that we have some of those on hand.

Aziraphale also mentioned a door with bloody hand prints on it and is wondering if anyone else might have figured out what that was all about?

Important question: do we know if all of them are going to show up or is this a situation where we know some of them are making a beeline for this universe but not which ones?

Couldn't speak to that, I'm afraid, and neither can the angel. I'd suspect if they've already had issues with some of our group, they might be after revenge.

Hope for the second, prepare for the first. And be glad we have a stable supply base and access to technology more advanced than a steam engine.

[Dan waits for the magic to translate the text, listening in with his fingertips tapping against his lip in thought.

He figures some people are going to roll their eyes at him, but:] Worth noting that we ain't fully sure how or whether nightrenders can be reasoned with, and the Nazgul seem to at least have some sapient intelligence.

I ain't just saying this to encourage folks to stay their hand, but because it's better to know when your enemy is smart.

Edited 2024-06-24 20:58 (UTC)

[He'll switch to voice, since the text was mostly effective when it was a larger piece of information he needed to get across.]

Aziraphale reckons the Nightrenders are at least somewhat intelligent, but not in the way that they can be reasoned with.

[Intelligent, but likely uninterested in compromise.]

I'd not be too worried about Nazgul, plenty of folks around here that aren't men.

Intelligence without reason is a terrible combination. [Dan doesn't believe they can't be reasoned with, but he also doesn't think there will ever be a good moment to test his theory without jeopardizing his colleagues.] Even worse than bog-stupid without reason.

[Crowley makes a sort of vague noise of consideration while he wonders whether that's actually true or not, before deciding it doesn't actually matter.]

Either way, best to be prepared for the worst. Shouldn't be too hard for Aziraphale to rustle up some holy items. I'd offer to help, but I doubt we've much use for anything desecrated.

Wouldn't that just be taking a holy item and turning it into a regular item?

That'd be deconsecrating, much more respectful. Proper desecration, as a demon would do it, makes something unholy. Not especially useful in our situation but it's a fun trick at parties.

[It is not a fun trick at parties.]

Oh! Well, I guess I learned a new word for my S.A.T.s, if I ever get back home to take them. Thanks.

[She taps a finger against her chin, looking around.]

We're not exactly short on storage space. It might be worth having a desecrated item around to chuck at any douchebag holy warriors that show up. Werewolves are no slouch in the violence department, but it still took half a dozen of us to take out the angel that tried to kill me; and they were all fightier than me.

[Stacia's met five angels, counting Aziraphale; and two of them were douchebags.]

Edited (clarification of internal monologue) 2024-07-03 21:33 (UTC)

Huh. You know, I hadn't thought about it, but I wonder if the belief of the kids who brought me here maybe brought one of the weapons from my world. I'd imagine an angel blade might be more likely than one of the more powerful ones.

[Says a lot that an angel blade would be more likely than the Colt or Ruby's knife.]

[Stacia makes a face.]

Given how kids feel about "cool" weapons, that does seem likely. Ughhhhhh.

Also, you've got stuff more powerful than angel swords and the angels haven't confiscated it? Wild.

[Sam makes a face as well.]

It could be that that's my perception talking. Technically, the Colt -- so long as it has the right bullets -- can eliminate anything short of an angel back home. Like, near as we can tell, literally unmake it. No coming back. It was useful against a couple of demons who were causing problems back home. Like, end of the world type problems. And there's a knife that...well, is probably more like what Crowley is talking about. Desecrated. Powerful in its own right that could do similar.

I had the knife when I was on the P90, but it was taken off of me immediately. Seems to have gotten lost again between there and here.

You're most welcome.

[Sort of vaguely sarcastic, but he figures she was probably joking anyway.]

If your angels are at all like what I'm used to, that's impressive. [He's pretty sure Aziraphale could handle six werewolves, not that he'd ever want to, unless things really got desperate.] But I suppose I could figure something out. I'll be keeping it with me, though.

[It couldn't destroy Aziraphale the way hellfire could, but he's still not taking chances.]

We got 99 problems (but Chaval aint one) -- Post-Quebec

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