Fandom's Come Knocking

[branchifer]

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Comments

[credit_not_blame]

There's a makeup palette based on me! I must own it immediately.

[ninjavampire]

It can’t possibly include anything you don’t already have.

[ he’s got a glimpse of the collection while getting his reindeer glow up. ]

[credit_not_blame]

[Stacia laughs and sticks her tongue out at Miguel the screen.]

That's not how capitalism works and you know it.

[ninjavampire]

Merchandising also made this.

[ attached is a picture of a burger with his face on it. ]

The novelty wears off fast, trust me.

[credit_not_blame]

[Stacia is delighted.]

I'm not sure why you think showing me something that cool would make your point for you, but I appreciate it none the less!

[ninjavampire]

You've never actually tried eating the food with your face on it.

[ it's stupid!! it never tastes that good either!! ]

[bestbrotherever]

Through legal means, or... otherwise?

[credit_not_blame]

Let me do some research as to how ethical and environmentally-friendly the company is and I'll get back to you.

Though, to be fair, it's not like I have a bank account.

[bestbrotherever]

I still have Asgardian gold, though I am uncertain how to convert it into mortal currency. Simple trade was so much easier...

[credit_not_blame]

I'd imagine it's value when it comes to mortal currency depends on whether or not the people other than the type who can visit Santa's Workshop can see and interact with it.

[Stacia cocks her head and thinks a moment.]

Yeah, I don't think I've interacted with gold outside of jewelry before, and none of that was ever not some kind of alloy or plating or something. I wouldn't know how to convert it either, outside of a cash-for-gold place and I get the impression those are pretty scammy.

[bestbrotherever]

We may be forced to resort to theft, then, as we have no legitimate way of providing money.

[He doesn't look all that unhappy at the idea.]

[millenyal_pink]

Stacia. Stacia. I have lipsticks.

This is the best day of my life.

[credit_not_blame]

I always knew being a girly-girl werewolf would pay off for me, but I never imagined that it would be like this!

[Time to see if she has lipsticks. Or maybe nail stickers.]

[millenyal_pink]

If I don't get to take all of these home I am going to riot.

[credit_not_blame]

I will help!

[millenyal_pink]

I knew I could count on your support. I don't think there's anyone I know that's better at making a nuisance of themself.

...Except maybe Isaac, but he's in a class of his own.

video

[lowercase_el]

[Kon looks like he's kicking rocks. It may only be half a joke.]

Man, why don't I get to have eyeshadows and lipsticks? I just have t-shirts and action figures and stuff.

You and Stacia get to go all Sephora and Tim gets to be all kawaii desu ne.

Is Kon not pretty? Is Kon not Konough?

Re: video

[credit_not_blame]

Tragically, you look like "the butch one", and that makes people think you wouldn't be into makeup. Which is extra tragic, because from what I know of you -- and that's without consuming your media -- I bet you've got plenty of stuff that would make a solid eye shadow palette. Definitely some bronzers.

[lowercase_el]

Yeah, get some blues and reds in there, some golds for the yellow on the S since yellow can look at little tacky.

You could even do a whole line of Kansas sunset themed bronzers.

[Wait, he is putting a lot of thought into this. Publicly. Time to downplay it a little.]

[He shrugs a shoulder.]

I don't really know much stuff about makeup but sometimes when I went clubbing I'd hit it off as bros with the really femme lesbians and they'd do my eyes for me and talk about it.

[credit_not_blame]

I think you also told me you lived in Hawaii? So there's just tons of color and shimmer options there.

[Stacia narrows her eyes a little when Kon suddenly starts back-tracking and shrugging. Toxic masculinity is rearing its ugly head! Not his fault, but: ugh.]

Yeah, dudes are discouraged from caring about this stuff, because I guess doing stuff that girls like is gross or weak or dumb or whatever. I swear, I want to find a way to make the patriarchy physically manifest itself so that we can light it on fire.

video

[branchifer]

What's makeup? I'm using the google.

[He loves the google. So useful when you're in an entirely alien world.]

Oh, that's sad. [He nods sadly.] You humans are all so beige-ey and earth-toned. I had no idea that you preferred brighter colors.

[He holds a hand to his heart.]

[Genuinely tragic. He had no idea it was that important to some of them to be colorful that they made special ingredients for it. To be born without! So sad!]

[If he looks more sympathetic they he should about Stacia's tragic state of beige-ness it may be that he over-empathizes a little bit.]

I'm so sorry.

[Clearly, it has some kind of different meaning for him.]

[credit_not_blame]

Please make sure you have safe search activated on the google, there are some metaphorical pit traps that you can fall into before you get used to it.

[Beware, be wary! Stacia's not going to go into the woeful tale of the Lupus-Born Garou's First Internet Search, but there are things out there that she'd prefer to ease Branch into rather than have sprung on him.]

I mean, there are some people who prefer to be more subtle with their makeup, and there's nothing wrong with that! I just think it's way more fun to play with colors than spend the better part of an hour trying to make it look like I'm not wearing makeup. Also, I really hate the language around that look. "no-makeup makeup" is bad enough, but "clean girl makeup"? Ugh. Barf.

[Stacia has opinions, she will share them. However, in her excitement, she may have blown past understanding what Branch meant.]

[branchifer]

[Branch squints at his comm suspiciously.]

What's it keeping me safe from?

[He says it like he's worried something will come out of the internet and get him. But also she had a lot to say about "clean girl" makeup and...what even is that?]

Why would they put colors on their face but in a way where it doesn't look like they did?

Also...you're supposed to be beige, right? Like, is that how humans naturally are? Beige and earth colors? It's not a situation where you should be brighter colors?

[He says this like someone checking in someone else's mental state.]

[credit_not_blame]

Safe search makes it slightly more difficult for you to stumble onto violence and sex stuff, in theory. But the internet is full of capital-w Weird stuff. Imagine that the safe search is like a little raft that you can hold onto until you're confident in your swimming.

[That's a decent enough metaphor, she things. Trolls probably swim.]

[It takes her a moment to follow his questions; but then she remembers how gray he'd looked when she and Dan first started talking to him.]

Oh! Yeah, humans range in shade from really dark brown to really light beige. Sometimes we get paler when we're sick or badly injured, or we turn pink or red if we've been in the sun too long, but otherwise we don't do a lot of color changing.

And...okay, I think the wearing-makeup-but-not-looking-like-it thing needs a whole bunch of cultural context as background, and I'd have to double-check some stuff myself. I personally don't understand the appeal either; and if I look into it, I will certainly get even angrier about it and need to go on a run for emotional regulation purposes.

[The Horrors can't always be fought with violence and unfortunately violence is what the Garou are best suited to. Hence why Stacia's world is teetering on the brink of the prophesied Apocalypse.]

[branchifer]

Ooookay, it's...very strange you need a special search block raft thing to avoid all that.

Yikes.

[Seriously yikes.]

But, uh, I'm glad you're... you're the colors you're supposed to be.

[He does not explain.]

And man you guys are complex. With the culture...stuff. I don't always understand what I'm seeing or reading or anything but there are just weird vibes.

Especially when it comes to things to do with gender.

[He can tell the makeup stuff might have to do with that. He makes a wavy motion with a hand.]

Just...weird. My people don't have any weird hangups about that.