longestnight | Fandom's Come Knocking

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Fandom's Come Knocking

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

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[ Panning over no less than four bespoke Steve shirts. Barely even scratching the surface of the Steve Harrington merch iceberg, and yet. ]

So this is my rep here? Huh? After everything I've had to deal with? Seriously. [ Cannot BELIEVE it's canonized. God.

He proceeds to immediately double canonize it. ]

Look, anyway, that's whatever. Fine. Listen up! I'm gonna go over this poster. [ THIS POSTER. And he does. Very carefully. ] If any of you see any of these people turn up new, you call me about it. Right? And if it's one of the kids, you can tell them Steve said not to do any dumb shit until he gets there.

[Squints at poster.]

Huh. Nancy does look like me. Except the hair and the fashion sense.

Also, there are worse reputations to have than "babysitter". It's an important role; nobody wants to see kids get hurt.

It's crazy. You guys could be sisters. Bone structure thing, you know?

Look, important isn't the issue. It's not even the label. I kick ass at babysitting. There's just more to me than that. I've got like-- interests. And friends. [ He does not name interests or friends as examples but he has them, dude. ] I've fought monsters and been to hell dimensions and helped find secret Russian bases and shit. I'm like, is that not in this show? How could it not be in the show? What the hell are we doing here?

[Branch looks thoughtful. He thinks about his grandma. About the sacrifice she made. About how it wouldn't have been an easy death. They all knew it usually wasn't a quick end and that those that we were taken had plenty of time to be terrified before it was over.]

[Branch had felt that personally now, during the time he and the others had been forced to cower, waiting for the Bergens to kill them all, before Bridget freed them.]

[And he thinks about the Trollstices where they hid him and the other children away but the adults stayed out knowing they couldn't hide too. Some had to be taken or the Bergens would look for where they were hiding and find the kids.]

[And he thinks about monsters.]

I don't know how it is for humans but back home protecting kids is seen as one of the noblest things someone can do.

Especially since, for a while, it was always so hard for my people to manage.

Most of those designs have you posed in a heroic way. If you're protecting them from terrible monsters or whatever, it could just be that people really admire you for that.

Who cares about bases or going to...wherever? When it's compared to one of the most admirable things someone can even do?

It might not even be the only thing they admire you for, just the one they admire you for the most.

Edited 2023-10-09 11:15 (UTC)

[ The sky is blue, water is wet, Steve Harrington managed to put his foot in his mouth in a way he wasn't aiming for.

Branch's response is enough to soften his tone out, at least. ]

Hey, man. If I didn't think that shit was the most important thing to take care of, I wouldn't keep trying to do it.

[ Trying. Steve has to add the qualifier at this point, keep trying. Because he has to think about what happened to Max and Lucas and Erica when he wasn't there last time. What happened to Dustin and Eddie when he wasn't there. He has to think about every time he's screwed up keeping his collection of weirdos safe: wrong place, wrong time, wrong fight to pick, whatever.

'It could just be that people really admire you for that.'

Cool. He doesn't deserve it. ]

Guess it's better than four shirts about me being a dick, anyway.

[That word is definitely outside his normal vocabulary but context makes it easy to understand it means the same thing as "jerk."]

Yeah, see? It could be worse.

Apparently, when I'm not a stuffed animal for small children, being a cranky jerk is what I have a rep for.

[It takes some doing for him to figure out how to do it but he links a few t-shirts. Being cranky seems to be his brand.]

[He's colored bit grayer in them than he currently is. Has to be a printing thing, right?]

You're not known for being a jerk, count your blessings.

[ That's totally gotta be a printing thing. Probably. To sell the grump aesthetic. ]

That only half-counts because you're, like. Adorable.

Totally! She's rocking the same chin me and my siblings all have, that's for sure. If she doesn't show up here, give her a fist-bump of solidarity from me and tell her to stomp on the insteps of anyone who talks about "jaw shaving". Or kick them in the shins if she's wearing appropriate shoes for it.

I mean, if you're doing all that hell tripping and finding Russian bases with the kids, I assume it still counts as babysitting. Can confirm that "monster fighting" absolutely gets counted as babysitting for me back home, at least.

... I don't get it, but yeah, sure.

[ Jaw shaving... do people say that? Like, he shaves his face, but that's whatever.

At least he's been validated that Stacia looks like Nancy and it's not that he finally got one too many concussions. ]

Jesus. Can we get one reality where "monster fighting" doesn't count as babysitting? We're basically even doing it here!

[ ARE THERE WORLDS WHERE KIDS ARE LIKE. SAFE FROM THE HORRORS??? ]

[Elle doesn't say anything. She just drops a link in the chat. (Potential NSFW in other products on site, this product is SFW.)]

[ LONG-ASS PAUSE.

Then: ]

i wanna get access to a lawyer but i don't think it looks enough like me to have a case

i think you'll have to put on the sailor outfit to be sure

[Is she flirting? Is she just teasing? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

yeah no. my sailing days are behind me since the mall burned down. no job, no uniform.

[ The gross bloody uniform. Off to be cleaned and sent to another franchise location? Probably. Not his problem tho. ]

this perv artist couldn't even pretend they like the family video vest! god forbid steve gets a job where he can wear real clothes.

maybe they just wanted a comforting face to look at when they fall asleep. whys it gotta be pervy?

[She says, deliberately ignoring the point.]

a comforting did we look at the same thing? that's SO pervy! half that pillow is about my ass! it's like if i had a really bad stunt double and someone was a huge fan of HIS ass!

idk it seem like ur the one being weird abt it :/ i thought it doesn't even look like u

Edited (text formatting who is she) 2023-10-09 02:45 (UTC)

[ EGAD. he's been trapped! Robin would love this. ]

yeah well it DOESN'T even look like me! this is like it's intent! the intent of it being me is there! i'm not being weird i'm being normal oh my god

o m g r u jealous of the body pillow??

[She's enjoying this way too much]

if the day comes when i'm jealous of a body pillow i'm gonna go live in the woods

as someone who once lived in a commune in the middle of the woods that may not be as much of an escape as ur hoping

it's like there's no such thing as liberties anymore. a man can't even live in the goddamn woods.

what has this country come to if you can't escape anime body pillows by running away to the forest?

this is how the darkness takes whatever country the north pole is in. mark my words.

[Elle thinks about it for a moment.]

i think the north pole might be a sovereign state? like the vatican? but it's not like it has diplomatic relations or representation in global organizations also magic which tends to fuck with the whole thing so who knows honestly

[ Steve likes texting, it's official, he's glad it's here. Because if any of that would've come after a beat to look at him like he asked a stupid question, he doesn't even have to see it.

He just gets shit he said responded to. Incredible. ]

so everyone's unofficial popes now. great.

[ hmm maybe he likes texting slightly less because it's harder to be sarcastic. ]

we're at the top of the goddamn world and still haven't hit the weirdness ceiling.

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millenyal_pink - 2023-10-31 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

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