Fandom's Come Knocking

[branchifer]

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Comments

[bestbrotherever]

Surely there must be a better representation of you than a perfume.

[demonicmiracle]

What's wrong with perfume?

[bestbrotherever]

It hardly seems the most representative of who you are. Of all the options, why would you pick the perfume?

[demonicmiracle]

What, should I care more about a doll?

[He's not about to say it out loud but like, perfume is kind of sexy and expensive and has an ephemeral quality that he vibes with. That's not a crime.]

Only thing better would be if they made a whiskey for me.

[Someone call Neil Gaiman. Crowley inspired whiskey and an Aziraphale inspired gin, it's perfect.]

[bestbrotherever]

[Can you hear Loki raising his eyebrows]

I would not have expected you to be particularly fond of perfume. Alcohol, yes.

[demonicmiracle]

Perfume's brilliant, I've been wearing it since humans figured it out. Why would — [Oh, wait.] — is this one of those weird gender things where I'm not supposed to like it 'cause you think I'm a bloke?

[bestbrotherever]

I have never cared much for scent in general. Asgard does not use it much. When we do, the scents are usually from the actual items, not an approximation with oil.

And I thought you would prefer something more openly boastful. Or inclined to lead mortals astray.

[demonicmiracle]

[Well. It's always sort of interesting when the front he's putting up works.]

The humans really don't need any help on that front.

[He refuses to call them mortals. He won't do it.]

Perfume can be plenty boastful. It'd be even better if Kilian or Clive Christian were making these, but you can't win 'em all.

[bestbrotherever]

I shall have to take your word for it. You are clearly more familiar with both mortals and their perfumes than I am.

Just for curiosity's sake, would this be the first time you have found evidence of their appreciation for you? From one interloper among them to another.

[demonicmiracle]

Spent most of my life around humans.

[If he only starts counting from when he was a demon, which he does.]

Oh, nah, I've run into it before, even encouraged it once or twice. Bit different when it's closer to the truth, though. I'm sure you get it, myths aren't the same as someone all but reading your diary.

[bestbrotherever]

I have not. Until recent events, when my brother began to grow fond of Midgard, the most time we had spent among them was during our youth. Odin wished to introduce the poor foolish creatures to his sons who would one day rule as their benevolent but distant gods. [The condescending sarcasm drips especially thick there.] The amount of stories that have sprung up from that brief span is quite amazing. They have learned men who primarily study it, you know. To understand more about their ancestors.

Though you are right, it is very different when it is not simply stories they dreamed up, but depicting what you have done. What you will do. Or should do, to fulfill your proper role.

[demonicmiracle]

Didn't exactly work out for your lot, did it? Being their gods.

[It's not mocking, just a statement. He knows that some people still worship Odin and other Norse gods, but it's not nearly as prevalent as it used to be. Christianity kind of ruined that, despite his best efforts.]

See? I knew you'd get it. Hearing all the shite about the snake in the garden is fun. Having humans actually know about me is awful.

[bestbrotherever]

Now, I would say that yet. The mortals may yet decide that they do not need to defend themselves and accept their place under Asgard's benevolent protection. [There's all the sarcasm in Loki's reply. Especially on the "accept their place" and "benevolent" parts.]

It is not merely how much they know about me. Their opinion of my proper role, that I cannot ever be more than that, and that they are capable in any capacity of controlling my fate...