longestnight | Fandom's Come Knocking

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Please don’t attempt to alter the timestream. There will only ever be 2 outcomes and neither are what you’re hoping for.

it can't get any worse than what it is right now

you've not seen what i've seen. humans need to be stopped

[Some dipshit went on AO3.]

One of the options is this, as is, is already the outcome of the time travel and your efforts are self-fulfilling. It may be time to unplug for a few hours.

at least i would've tried

oh i've long since stopped looking at it, i'm hardly that must of a masochist

Man, you have my sympathies for, in a really super roundabout way, inventing all the weirdest stuff to ever grace God's green internet.

I'm sorry, dude, humanity's indefatigable horniness must be really hard for you to deal with creating. The weight on your shoulders. The burden.

Do you think he invented the internet as well? That would put it in much more a direct decision tree to it being his fault.

[The look that Crowley directs at his stupid watch. Kon you're an ass.]

lust isnt even my bloody department!

adam and eve were lovely, they never would've done this to me

Sorry, I'm used to humans and metahumans who, on the whole, have a very difficult time dragging themselves away from apples, boxes, and internet archives. Again, the other option would be a fracture or rewrite of the entire multiverse and people get lost that way.

i never took a bite of the apple

[He absolutely has a terrible time dragging himself away from things, just not in this case.

It felt... oddly perverse, even if it wasn't real.]

that's alright, i'll take the risk

Are you a human or metahuman? The rest of us might not want to.

nah, but one plays me on television

[He thinks he's funny.]

not really my problem, im afraid

[Don't worry, Tim, he can't actually go back in time. Pause it for a few moments, sure, but not reverse it. Even God can't do that.]

Then we already know that you're exempted from the apple. It is, though. Everyone here has to work together. You can't just blow everything up because you're out of sorts. [ ... funny story, Tim personally knows a stupid amount people who have travelled in time and has done it himself so. Yeah, he takes threats like this seriously. ]