Fandom's Come Knocking

[branchifer]

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Comments

voice;

[demonicmiracle]

[This is all very weird.

But he's here now and is going to include a link in this message.]

How egotistical would it be to buy perfumes inspired by myself?

[millenyal_pink]

I already have a handful of my own merch in my cart.

[There are lipsticks.]

Be free, live your best life.

[demonicmiracle]

Glad to know I'm not the only one.

[He's doing it, he's buying all of them.]

What are we talking about for you? Is there a barbie doll?

[She seems like the sort of person someone would make a barbie doll for.]

[millenyal_pink]

[Well now she wants a Barbie doll!]

Probably not. I doubt my media is kid-appropriate enough for that.

I've got some makeup, which I'm pretty excited about. Some themed stationary, some jewelry.

I haven't touched the fanworks yet. There's only so many people from back home they would be able to ship me with and I could tolerate seeing stuff with maybe two of them.

[demonicmiracle]

[He's pretty sure they make fancy collectors edition barbies, but he's distracted by everything else.]

Oh, I want a make up collection. That'd be terrific.

[He's gonna get MAC on the line. They could have like eight shades of black eyeshadow, the goths would go wild.]

Don't — don't do it. You're better off not doing it. I very much wish I hadn't.

[millenyal_pink]

I can see it. Blacks, grays, browns, with red, gold, and green accents. Or maybe purple instead of green. Something like that.

I probably have a higher tolerance since I grew up in the time of modern fandom. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to see it applied to myself.

[Elle knows how female characters get treated. And even if there's good stuff out there, the idea of people picking apart her life for fun... it's uncomfortable, to say the least. She can deal with the stories. She can even deal with people having read them. Anything beyond that feels invasive.

But chances are her curiosity will get the better of her at some point so it's really just a matter of time.]

[demonicmiracle]

Purple? With this hair?

[Green works much better, so long as it's dark enough not to swerve into Christmas colors, but Crowley rarely wears anything bright so it's fine.]

You are most certainly not ready. I thought I'd seen it all when it comes to human depravity, but I'd only scratched the surface.

[millenyal_pink]

You found fanfiction, didn't you.

[old-man-yells-at-cloud.jpeg]

[demonicmiracle]

[There's like. a five second silence while he kind of sits with this reality all over again, which probably answers Elle's question.]

I did, much to my disgust.

[He was so close to leaving nasty comments.]

cw: implied minor/adult shipping in the context of fan-made works

[millenyal_pink]

[Oh no, did the demon have to face the depths of human creativity and horniness? She's absolutely laughing at him.]

Yeah, I think I can survive. I can pretty vividly picture what's out there. It's just whether I'm prepared to actually see it.

I was like, sixteen when most of the dramatic stuff in my life went down, and the people I'm closest to in the world are adult men. I'm not particularly excited to see those relationships interpreted by strangers.

[Fifteen? Sixteen? Depends how you counted, really. There's a year in there that happened for her and no one else, so it's hard to say.

She's pretty chill about it in theory but the idea of facing the reality... doesn't sound great. She'll have to take the time to prepare herself for what she will potentially see. Ideally, she'll just find the whole thing funny in the moment.]

only in dwrp do you get warnings like that

[demonicmiracle]

[More like human depravity and horniness.

This time Crowley makes an audible sound of disgust, but it's about Elle's situation rather than his own.]

I know someone who'd like to hope that no one was that bloody horrible about it, but I know better. And you've got the whole... thing.

[Cat thing. Is that a secret? He doesn't know, so he's erring on the side of caution.]

I can guarantee that would come up and not in a good way.

[Things he didn't want to consider: sex as a snake.

Although now that he has considered it...........]

[millenyal_pink]

[The feminine urge to make an 'in heat' joke.... She will persevere somehow.......]

Believe me, I've seen and heard a lot of it already.

[Fun fact: people are gross.

She loves the way he's dancing around her feline nature. She will not clarify whether he's allowed to talk about it. This is far too entertaining.]

In the end, I don't have a body pillow, and I'll always be able to hold that close to my heart.

Re: cw: implied minor/adult shipping in the context of fan-made works

[credit_not_blame]

Ugh, yeah, I am very specifically not looking because I will have to destroy things if I see anything about me and the grown-ass men in my life.

[Eww to infinity.]

Re: cw: implied minor/adult shipping in the context of fan-made works

[millenyal_pink]

[Elle and Stacia are grasping hands, neither of them wanting to see what people think of their relationship with Isaac.]

Right? I've been on the internet, I know what's waiting for me. I want to be able to look my packmates in the eyes when I get back, thanks.

[bestbrotherever]

Surely there must be a better representation of you than a perfume.

[demonicmiracle]

What's wrong with perfume?

[bestbrotherever]

It hardly seems the most representative of who you are. Of all the options, why would you pick the perfume?

[demonicmiracle]

What, should I care more about a doll?

[He's not about to say it out loud but like, perfume is kind of sexy and expensive and has an ephemeral quality that he vibes with. That's not a crime.]

Only thing better would be if they made a whiskey for me.

[Someone call Neil Gaiman. Crowley inspired whiskey and an Aziraphale inspired gin, it's perfect.]

[bestbrotherever]

[Can you hear Loki raising his eyebrows]

I would not have expected you to be particularly fond of perfume. Alcohol, yes.

[demonicmiracle]

Perfume's brilliant, I've been wearing it since humans figured it out. Why would — [Oh, wait.] — is this one of those weird gender things where I'm not supposed to like it 'cause you think I'm a bloke?

[bestbrotherever]

I have never cared much for scent in general. Asgard does not use it much. When we do, the scents are usually from the actual items, not an approximation with oil.

And I thought you would prefer something more openly boastful. Or inclined to lead mortals astray.

[demonicmiracle]

[Well. It's always sort of interesting when the front he's putting up works.]

The humans really don't need any help on that front.

[He refuses to call them mortals. He won't do it.]

Perfume can be plenty boastful. It'd be even better if Kilian or Clive Christian were making these, but you can't win 'em all.

[bestbrotherever]

I shall have to take your word for it. You are clearly more familiar with both mortals and their perfumes than I am.

Just for curiosity's sake, would this be the first time you have found evidence of their appreciation for you? From one interloper among them to another.

[demonicmiracle]

Spent most of my life around humans.

[If he only starts counting from when he was a demon, which he does.]

Oh, nah, I've run into it before, even encouraged it once or twice. Bit different when it's closer to the truth, though. I'm sure you get it, myths aren't the same as someone all but reading your diary.

[bestbrotherever]

I have not. Until recent events, when my brother began to grow fond of Midgard, the most time we had spent among them was during our youth. Odin wished to introduce the poor foolish creatures to his sons who would one day rule as their benevolent but distant gods. [The condescending sarcasm drips especially thick there.] The amount of stories that have sprung up from that brief span is quite amazing. They have learned men who primarily study it, you know. To understand more about their ancestors.

Though you are right, it is very different when it is not simply stories they dreamed up, but depicting what you have done. What you will do. Or should do, to fulfill your proper role.