longestnight | Fandom's Come Knocking

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I just tried that.

[Because he's a nosy lil' bitch, so he didn't even ask permission, but then again, his curiosity has already been established.]

But it's fuzzed out like its censored. Not on the page either, like its a blind spot in my vision. So then I tried a few of the other people here from other universes just to see if something at least pulled up, and it was the same for them.

Try searching for someone not from your world.

[If anyone tries the same, they'll find the same thing when they try to gather info on anyone else. The info magically censored.]

[Please hold while he does in fact look up some other people, and finds that Boimler is correct.]

if i send you something can you see it?

[He makes the conversation private, not wanting to splash too much all over the network, then links a gif.]

that's yours truly and eve, from the stupid bloody show they made

That I can see. For some reason, I could see it when shared.

But to be fair, it could also be from any piece of Biblical Judeochristian Earth media in existence.

this place cares about consent, perhaps?

[It makes sense, in a way. He shared it, so he was essentially giving the okay for Boimler to see it.]

i could show you that i turn into that specific snake but i suppose i could also just be a shapeshifter

it's really no skin off my nose if you believe me or not

I know you don't care but I have to ask because what else am I supposed to do? Just not question it??

Now I'm stuck wondering about the existence of God and is it just the one universe or that God the God of every universe and is God a cruel God or a kind God and honestly what's up with stuff like the flood by the way?

If you think about it even the tiniest bit it negates the existence of a kind god because only a tyrant would be evil enough to do the things God has done like oh punish humanity for wanting to know things and sending plagues and killing children just to prove a point and drowning the world and everything else.

And on top of it I'm an atheist.

[A lot of people are in his world and time. Religion still exists but lots of people are very scientifically-minded.]

And the thing is I'd still be an atheist because what kind of monster does all those things and wants to worshipped?

So I kind of have to ask and I kind of have to be pushy about it and it's really no skin off your nose but I REALLY need to know because I'd maybe like a light heads up, just a little memo, on whether I'm going to hell or not for hearing "God is real by the way" and going "sorry, still not sold" about it.

[And here is why it is very bad for people to learn about this: the moderate existential crisis.]

Edited 2023-10-07 20:21 (UTC)

[This is all technically valid and like, a considerable factor in why Crowley doesn't tell people that he's a demon. He doesn't want to deal with this.]

god exists where i'm from, and yeah, She's an arsehole, you're not wrong about that

i can prove it if you really want, come on over and i'll turn into a snake or show off my wings or what have you [He isn't really comfortable doing that over the network.] but it's got no bearing on where you're from, i can't tell you whether or not She's real there

That still could be shapeshifting.

[Ugh, his head hurts.]

Okay, you know what, I'll just go with it.

And pretend your universe is kind of a disaster on the creator end, and that mine just had a fantastic Big Bang with nothing behind it.

And if I'm wrong, oh well, because I don't want anything to do with that.

[Even if he was going to hell, he wouldn't change his beliefs, just get real depressed about it.]

All of that being said, how do you quit working for hell?

[Because he can't not be curious.]

well

if it helps, i think i was partially responsible for the big bang? so if i'm not around, your universe is likely in the clear

you help the antichrist tell his satanic father to go fuck himself, help stop the attempted apocalypse, then scare the shite out of your former employers when they try to destroy you

Fandom's Come Knocking

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