Fandom's Come Knocking

[branchifer]

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]

Comments

Re: video

[credit_not_blame]

Tragically, you look like "the butch one", and that makes people think you wouldn't be into makeup. Which is extra tragic, because from what I know of you -- and that's without consuming your media -- I bet you've got plenty of stuff that would make a solid eye shadow palette. Definitely some bronzers.

[credit_not_blame]

Please make sure you have safe search activated on the google, there are some metaphorical pit traps that you can fall into before you get used to it.

[Beware, be wary! Stacia's not going to go into the woeful tale of the Lupus-Born Garou's First Internet Search, but there are things out there that she'd prefer to ease Branch into rather than have sprung on him.]

I mean, there are some people who prefer to be more subtle with their makeup, and there's nothing wrong with that! I just think it's way more fun to play with colors than spend the better part of an hour trying to make it look like I'm not wearing makeup. Also, I really hate the language around that look. "no-makeup makeup" is bad enough, but "clean girl makeup"? Ugh. Barf.

[Stacia has opinions, she will share them. However, in her excitement, she may have blown past understanding what Branch meant.]

[branchifer]

[Branch squints at his comm suspiciously.]

What's it keeping me safe from?

[He says it like he's worried something will come out of the internet and get him. But also she had a lot to say about "clean girl" makeup and...what even is that?]

Why would they put colors on their face but in a way where it doesn't look like they did?

Also...you're supposed to be beige, right? Like, is that how humans naturally are? Beige and earth colors? It's not a situation where you should be brighter colors?

[He says this like someone checking in someone else's mental state.]

[ferengineer]

[Nog doesn't rise to the bait about it not being very Starfleet. It's not, but it's also a family issue, not a Starfleet one.]

Here's the thing: Come to Quark's works *all* the time. He's great at running a bar. If he focused on building on that instead of whatever scheme he's cooked up this week he'd probably be doing better than he is now.

[millenyal_pink]

If I don't get to take all of these home I am going to riot.

[orivodika]

that's just what i've heard from other people

i know a lot of criminals

[Which is true! But might not help his case as much as he thinks it does.]

[millenyal_pink]

Yeah, the less violence happening in the North Pole the better. I'm pretty sure I read that on a Hallmark card once.

[millenyal_pink]

Super-weird about Superboy? Somehow that's not surprising.

[Groans from the audience.]

Seriously, though, that fucking sucks and I'm sorry it happened.

[favoritefearlesshero]

Oh, and here I thought that was the abridged version. Well, that did it. Next time you're getting the full story.

[That's not an idle threat, Branch.]

Well, you've got a good start: you wanted to protect them from...uh, I'm inferring from context that these "Bergens" are predators of trolls? Is that right?

[Bergens are completely unknown to him, he's going off of very little.

He points his finger in the air, shaking it a bit to signal that he's got the beginnings of an idea.]

...What about all those traps you make?

[nobodytossesaclone]

[He wants to argue that point, but time and place.]

I won't hurt you.

[Rex is totally good at this too.]

[composinghistory]

To call it sleeping around would be deeply insulting not only to me, but to the lovers I have taken! I am offended on their behalf, that you would diminish our throes of passion to such a trite term as that. You, sir, have besmirched the honor of many a lovely man and woman across the land and I will not stand for it!

[He's getting worked up, now!]

[orivodika]

okay

give me back the blaster and prove it

[nobodytossesaclone]

No. That will prove nothing.

[Except that Rex would be a fool once Boba goes on to threaten someone with it.]

You already know that.

[demonicmiracle]

[All according to keikaku.]

My apologies. [It's only audio, but there's a sense that a dramatic flourish goes with the words, from the over-the-top way he says them.] To all the notches on your bedpost.

[He's so rude!!!]

text, private until further notice

[branchifer]

Why do you know a lot of criminals?

[branchifer]

Do not. With the story.

[Ugh, he is not sitting through that.]

[The rest is...loaded. And a conversation he might have to have with a few people who didn't overhear things during his freakout. He tries to keep it brisk.]

The Bergens are the big people from back home. They're a lot like humans. They used to kill us. And kept us trapped in the troll tree until we escaped when I was a kid. [There, he said that with a sufficient amount of factual emotionlessness, breezing through it like he didn't just admit something heinous happened.] It's why I didn't trust the big people here at first.

[Which explains a lot, also, about his initial frenetic counter-attack when he thought Puss was stalking him. Of course he was extremely on edge when surrounded by new, strange big people in a strange situation and had already been attacked by another cat. Of course he threw things.]

[He quickly moves on.]

The problem with the traps is they take a lot of prep time and the right things to use as components. Not a guarantee just anywhere.

[He's honestly trying to problem solve this here. He's starting to acknowledge he does want to try to help. Maybe.]

[lowercase_el]

Yeah, get some blues and reds in there, some golds for the yellow on the S since yellow can look at little tacky.

You could even do a whole line of Kansas sunset themed bronzers.

[Wait, he is putting a lot of thought into this. Publicly. Time to downplay it a little.]

[He shrugs a shoulder.]

I don't really know much stuff about makeup but sometimes when I went clubbing I'd hit it off as bros with the really femme lesbians and they'd do my eyes for me and talk about it.

[orivodika]

[He had to try.]

what do you even want from me?

[orivodika]

[Because he was in prison.]

the planet i was on is controlled by gangs. most people are criminals

[Also technically true! He was staying on Tatooine (run by the Hutts) and then Florrum (run by pirates) and then Coruscant (run by every crook imaginable, including the Galactic Senate).]

[branchifer]

That's still an answer that's slightly alarming to hear.

[He doesn't know if he should ask this. He wouldn't have wanted to answer at the same age. But it also would've been important for an adult that was trying to care for him to know about.]

Were you on your own there?

[If he was just gallivanting around chilling with criminals.]

[orivodika]

[Boba doesn't know how to answer that. No, he wasn't alone, but he was because Aurra didn't actually care what happened to him. He was mostly alone before her, too. In the RJC he was never alone.]

Sometimes.

[composinghistory]

[So rude!!! He doesn't even have a bed to make notches on!]

Perhaps you would have a better temperament if you added more to your own.

[A night with his object of affection might make him less of a pain in the arse.

It's unlikely, but possible.]

[branchifer]

[Okay, how do you get a traumatized kid to open up so you know what's going on with them? So you know how to best help them?]

[Things he knows you don't do: push too hard in a direct way. His foster parents sometimes wanted to have a nice little feelings jam to try to help him and the too-direct questions clearly intended to solve the entire problem of...him, well they had always just made him moodier. Asking questions will sometimes get non-answers or half-truths or, in Branch's case when he was younger, it had gotten lots of sarcasm.]

[But his foster parents had failed at the thing he needed most: someone else acknowledging that yes it had hurt. Yes, it had been bad. It would have meant so much to hear from them "yes, we're still struggling too."]

[Branch isn't struggling but he has struggled and he knows that offering information, while not the most pleasant, might provide more of an inroads to the kid talking about things - whether now or later when he feels more comfortable.]

[If it was for anyone else other than a kid he was starting to feel responsible for...]

I was just curious if you were anything like me. I was an orphan.

[orivodika]

[He doesn't answer the implied question. He can't.]

i'm sorry.

["I'm sorry" is a weak response. It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't change anything. He hates it when people tell him that they're sorry for what happened to his dad.

He just doesn't know what else to say.]

[branchifer]

[It's okay if he doesn't immediately open up. This took time and sometimes laying down some groundwork. Again, something people struggled to do with Branch. That's what happens when you're avoidant when it comes to sadness.]

It's okay. It happened a long time ago.

[It's mostly okay. He's done a lot of healing but he'd be lying if he said most of it wasn't within the last year or so.]

I just know I needed certain things from the adults around me because of the things I went through and I didn't really get them. Sorry if I'm being nosy, I just don't want to see that happen to someone else.

You don't have to feel like you need to say anything about where you came from, though. But I'll listen if you ever want to tell someone, especially if it means you need something specific to feel safe.