[VIDEO] Lies and Slander [backdated to early Jan]

[favoritefearlesshero]

[Puss has the camera on a tripod. All the better to pace and gesture angrily on a table.]

Hola, Puss in Boots here, yadda yadda, you all know me, look-

I am not naming any names, and certainly not casting any aspersions on any loyal North Pole staff! Especially not any [cough cough] ELVES [cough] on the premises, but I do need to set the record straight:

At no time did I, me personally, or myself eat any tinsel! Of any length or color! And there was certainly no scooting on the carpet involved! Whatever you may have seen those elves miming, nothing. Happened. Those elves...eh, they just work themselves into these flights of fancies. Ridiculous. Obviously.

Oh, and if the Yetis tell you I knocked over three Christmas trees by trying to climb them, that's also wrong. I was up to five before they reinforced the bases such that they wouldn't topple when was up getting those sparkly gold baubles at the top. Those are the best ones, so shiny, and they fall so pleasingly...

[Giant cat pupils tell you he's off in a daydream. About breaking things.]

Comments

[Audio]

[mostdangerousbird]

This is unprompted and specific.

[manofanxiety]

...so, how much catnip have you had recently?