branchifer: (013)
Branch ([personal profile] branchifer) wrote in [community profile] longestnight2023-10-07 06:01 am

Fandom's Come Knocking

Okay, did you guys know people in this world make stuff of some of us? Apparently the yetis make toys of us on their own if none exist but also imitate ones that do exist if kids want them.

[Branch is hopping along a table of merch that is meant to mimic exactly the merch of him in stores. A lot of it is actually bigger than he is. He shows off the dolls with his tiny little wrist comm. They look even weirder at that perspective.]

Now that I know they're not ritual effigies, the toy thing is kind of funny. Weird, but funny.

Look at this. Look.

[He holds up his comm so the camera picks up some absolutely hideous toys.]

Like, who is this guy? I wouldn't even know who this was if it wasn't labeled with my name. Like, some random guy from the village maybe. I've never dressed like that in my life.

[He points the camera at another.]

This one is the closest to actually looking like me and it still has the random skull symbol hair thing. What's up with that? [A pause as his face comes back in view. It screws up in thought.] ...Okay, actually I don't hate it.

[Because even though he's a much happier person than he once was, he's still slightly an edgelord. Just slightly.]

[He looks upward and similar skull designs suddenly appear in his own hair, thanks to his ability to change its color. Maybe that explains why some of the dolls have black hair and some have blue (if manufacturing inconsistencies aren't to blame).]

[(It's actually not but he's not about to explain the subtleties of troll coloration when it comes to emotional state.)]

Seriously, you should check it out, and see if the yetis made stuff based on you. It's hilarious.

[ooc: If none exists IRL, people can make up imaginary merch, though all merch at the Pole would be for kids or teens. The stuff made purely by the yetis would largely be decent-looking and accurate, uglier stuff would be based on designs existing in the game world because well, that's what the kid pointed at in the store. Googling themselves would produce other merch for other demographics, as well as let people find out about any internet fandom. People can feel free to thread hop a lot because the point of this is probably going to be a lot of pointing and laughing.]
demonicmiracle: (163)

[personal profile] demonicmiracle 2023-10-07 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[If you say so, Jaskier.]

They'd all end up shredded, I assume?
composinghistory: (Talk- Happy)

[personal profile] composinghistory 2023-10-07 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Burnt to a crisp, more likely. Faster and more dramatic that way.
boldboimler: (LA - 005)

private until farther notice

[personal profile] boldboimler 2023-10-07 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I know you don't care but I have to ask because what else am I supposed to do? Just not question it??

Now I'm stuck wondering about the existence of God and is it just the one universe or that God the God of every universe and is God a cruel God or a kind God and honestly what's up with stuff like the flood by the way?

If you think about it even the tiniest bit it negates the existence of a kind god because only a tyrant would be evil enough to do the things God has done like oh punish humanity for wanting to know things and sending plagues and killing children just to prove a point and drowning the world and everything else.

And on top of it I'm an atheist.


[A lot of people are in his world and time. Religion still exists but lots of people are very scientifically-minded.]

And the thing is I'd still be an atheist because what kind of monster does all those things and wants to worshipped?

So I kind of have to ask and I kind of have to be pushy about it and it's really no skin off your nose but I REALLY need to know because I'd maybe like a light heads up, just a little memo, on whether I'm going to hell or not for hearing "God is real by the way" and going "sorry, still not sold" about it.


[And here is why it is very bad for people to learn about this: the moderate existential crisis.]
Edited 2023-10-07 20:21 (UTC)
mostdangerousbird: (029 didn’t recognize u w/o the handcuffs)

[personal profile] mostdangerousbird 2023-10-07 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
The movements are as bad as the cults. Kids get in over their heads in a very real way. They don’t understand what they’re emulating or asking for.
mostdangerousbird: (106 i want a girl with shoes that cut)

[personal profile] mostdangerousbird 2023-10-07 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Just a sec, Tim’s considering the images. ]

I think part of it is the standard molds used for these kinds of figures, but when you factor in the body armor they’re not entirely inaccurate. I’d have to see other toys in the line to get a fair sense of it.

[ He’s not that skinny, god. ]
millenyal_pink: (Default)

[personal profile] millenyal_pink 2023-10-07 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well now she wants a Barbie doll!]

Probably not. I doubt my media is kid-appropriate enough for that.

I've got some makeup, which I'm pretty excited about. Some themed stationary, some jewelry.

I haven't touched the fanworks yet. There's only so many people from back home they would be able to ship me with and I could tolerate seeing stuff with maybe two of them.
orivodika: (Exp- Side Glare)

[personal profile] orivodika 2023-10-07 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
you haven't done a good job then

[Yes, he's going to make this as difficult as possible for the both of them.]
favoritefearlesshero: ([10])

[personal profile] favoritefearlesshero 2023-10-07 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[The jig isn't up until Puss says its up. He holds the plush up and out at arms length, miming as if he's never seen it before.]

What, this? This is...well, it's...You know. Kitty. She's a Kitty. I mean, her name is Kitty. Kitty Softpaws. She's a thief that I, uh...we're...it's a long story and I...

[Yeah, he has no idea how to describe their relationship now. They only just reconciled and figuring out what they're going to be to each other was shaping up to be a very long process. He gropes for a word and can only land on:]

I guess you could say she's my "It's Complicated."

[He's not sure where that came from, but it sounds good.]

...But so we're clear, it's not weird that I have this!
demonicmiracle: (snek)

[personal profile] demonicmiracle 2023-10-07 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is all technically valid and like, a considerable factor in why Crowley doesn't tell people that he's a demon. He doesn't want to deal with this.]

god exists where i'm from, and yeah, She's an arsehole, you're not wrong about that

i can prove it if you really want, come on over and i'll turn into a snake or show off my wings or what have you
[He isn't really comfortable doing that over the network.] but it's got no bearing on where you're from, i can't tell you whether or not She's real there
millenyal_pink: (Exp- Happy)

[personal profile] millenyal_pink 2023-10-07 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
This one's my favorite.

[He's not that skinny, but he sure isn't a square of a man.]
nobodytossesaclone: (Maybe he's born with it)

[personal profile] nobodytossesaclone 2023-10-07 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, he walked right into that one.]

I don't want to scare you.

[Something tells him that stalking the corridors and using stun bolts is not going to endear him to oh, anyone.]
mostdangerousbird: (079)

[personal profile] mostdangerousbird 2023-10-07 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I’m never going to have a jaw that square.
millenyal_pink: (Default)

[personal profile] millenyal_pink 2023-10-07 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It looks like a bully from an early 2000s Disney Channel Original Movie.
boldboimler: (LA - 011)

[personal profile] boldboimler 2023-10-07 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
That still could be shapeshifting.

[Ugh, his head hurts.]

Okay, you know what, I'll just go with it.

And pretend your universe is kind of a disaster on the creator end, and that mine just had a fantastic Big Bang with nothing behind it.

And if I'm wrong, oh well, because I don't want anything to do with that.


[Even if he was going to hell, he wouldn't change his beliefs, just get real depressed about it.]

All of that being said, how do you quit working for hell?

[Because he can't not be curious.]
orivodika: (Exp- Glare)

[personal profile] orivodika 2023-10-07 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
easy. you're not scary

[Rex using the Force had just... surprised him. He's not scared of it!]
fromfryingpantofire: (A - Erk/Umm)

[personal profile] fromfryingpantofire 2023-10-07 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sam's got something in his hands, looking a little disturbed. He holds up the strange figure for people to see.]

I can't tell if it's just soulless or actually possessed. I sure wouldn't have it anywhere nearby while trying to sleep.
demonicmiracle: (inkonic-gomens-s2-crowley-11)

[personal profile] demonicmiracle 2023-10-07 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
well

if it helps, i think i was partially responsible for the big bang? so if i'm not around, your universe is likely in the clear

you help the antichrist tell his satanic father to go fuck himself, help stop the attempted apocalypse, then scare the shite out of your former employers when they try to destroy you
nobodytossesaclone: (Maybe he's born with it)

[personal profile] nobodytossesaclone 2023-10-07 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Then why did you run from me?

I'm not a Jedi.

[Probably?]
fromfryingpantofire: (A - Concerned)

[personal profile] fromfryingpantofire 2023-10-07 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, so do I. That's at least true to life.

[Sam's not going to get it out. The yetis were nice enough to make him one.]

But yeah, I can imagine being about the same size would make these really disconcerting.
mostdangerousbird: (004 you’re so novel what a good idea)

[personal profile] mostdangerousbird 2023-10-07 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I don’t love that either. I’m not a bully.

[ Unless you’re a goon, but that’s not the discussion. ]

How are my choices waifu or bully?
fromfryingpantofire: (A - Hmm)

[personal profile] fromfryingpantofire 2023-10-07 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah. Not a fan of that in the least. Eyes like that don't mean anything good back home, either.
favoritefearlesshero: ([02])

[personal profile] favoritefearlesshero 2023-10-07 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[Puss makes some lightly mocking blah blah blah motions with his mouth, similarly teasing if slightly more grumpy than Branch, watching him strut in front of his piles of toys.

And then he spots it. Hard not to, what with it being bright pink and everything. A small smug smile spreads over his furry face. This is gonna be good.]


And I'm to understand you prefer to cuddle with, what, that statue?

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